Sunday, November 02, 2003
Doris Thomson 1909 - 2003
See pictures of Doris Thomson taken in 2003.
Here in Huairou, Beijing, China, literally in the shadow of the Great Wall, we think of the life and death of Doris Thomson. We remember that in her salad days, and even later, as a world traveler she was with her husband David, among the early tourists in China in 1976. We remember her excitement as we prepared to come here, and the many memories which she shared with us from that time. She insisted that we not miss this opportunity.
Doris was our mother and mother in law and in her last few years her life was intimately entwined with ours. Because we are in China, we include the eulogy we sent for the celebration of her life on Saturday, November 1, 2003, just a few days shy of her 94th birthday, November 16th.
Our Chinese friends, teachers and students have been especially caring and solicitous about our welfare on the occasion of Doris's death. Their notes have moved us to tears and to an appreciation of the warm and common bonds of humanity which bring us together. How our Chinese friends found the sincere and meaningful words in language which is foreign to them moves us as well. The principal offered the condolences of both staff and students. (see letter).
Our friend Keyan remembers Doris from her time with us in 1989-90, and expressed it in the following, from a card which she sent us:
"We are very sorry at the painful news of the passing away of your mother. She was a fine old lady, well-loved by all who knew her. I have lots of good memories of her. She will be long remembered by us. I quite understand how you feel now, but you are in duty bound to look to your own health and take care of Judy. My family and I send our heartfelt sympathy."
Two senior students (a young man Carol, and a young woman Amanda) with whom we have become friends, also offered their written condolences:
"I'm very sorry to hear the bad news of your mother's passing away. I know how you feel now. But it could happen to anybody, so try not to get too upset about it. You still have us, we are your friends. And this letter is from Class 13, Senior 3. We hope that you can always be happy and enjoy your time in China."
"I'm very sorry to hear that your mother passed away. I also feel very sad. But I believe your dear mother must have been having a beautiful life in the heaven. Please don't worry. At the same time, I think your mother in the heaven must hope you have a happy and healthy life. Please make yourself feel better as quickly as possible. I like your smile. And I hope I will see your smile every day!"
We also had a special dinner with Liu Keyan, her husband Dou Tiankui and daughter Dou Yan, to honour Doris. Tiankui was particularly eloquent and moving in his expression of sympathy, as he offered a toast to her spirit, in the Chinese tradition. We all, in turn, offered toasts to honour her life and to ease her passing. This was a generous and touching gesture, so typical of our Chinese friends.
Even here in China, half a world away, Doris Thomson has been honoured, celebrated and remembered.
_____________________
EULOGY
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
Emily Dickinson's words resonate for us again today. These are the words spoken at David Thomson's memorial and to bring these two lives full circle we repeat them here. At the death of Doris Thomson memory becomes a treasured resource.
And what memories a long life of 94 years bring to the mind's eye. Doris sitting on the back deck at Harkaway House, welcoming the first rays of the spring sun or later in the summer, counting the contrails of the planes high in the sky, wondering where they were headed. Doris greeting Tatters and asking her how she was. She loved animals and saw them as her friends. Doris struggling through deep snow with her walker, determined to make it to the Art Gallery monthly movie. Doris and her marvelous pink hat - part of the wedding photos for both Kevin and Cheryl, and Catherine and Robin Andrew. Doris and the dainty sandwiches made for Catherine & Robin Andrew's wedding reception. Doris and her bridge clubs, a regular weekly feature for years and years. Doris and the many trips all over the world with David, trips which helped her get through the difficult times in the last year, especially when she couldn't sleep at night. Doris the avid stamp collector, who would spread out the latest additions all over the apartment, even when her eye sight no longer allowed her to distinguish one from another.
And Doris the mother, who gave her energy and love to raising 5 children, not an easy task and not one that is recognized enough. Greg, Maija, Joan, John and Ken - all adults whose lives have been shaped by her love and care. And she was Judy's mother too - a friend and advisor for many years when her own mother was not able to help.
And Doris the grandmother and great grandmother. Our children got to know her well and that was a grace to them and to her. She was always interested in their activities, encouraging them to tell her their latest exploits, whether motor cycle riding, cycling, buying cars and houses, renting apartments, the trials of having jobs. She delighted in her great grandchildren, to whom she was GG. No matter how rambunctious, how noisy they were, she loved to watch them be themselves and loved to hear about their latest accomplishments. She loved them without restraint.
We cried some quiet tears here in China as we remembered what used to be. Since moving to St. Francis Place in Owen Sound six years ago, Doris was part of our daily lives, from Sunday dinners to weekly shopping trips to drives in the country to see the trilliums in the spring and the leaves in the fall. Her most favorite view was from the top of Jimmy Brown's hill, with its long vista both down the sound and out into the Bay as far as the islands at Colpoys. We will miss her and will be looking for her in all the familiar places.
We are pleased that our friends too found a place for her in their activities and their hearts. We think especially of Norah Egener, of Terry Harrison, Irma Thompson, Marge Woods and Phyllis Beauvais at St. Francis Place, of Marg and John Howard, of Beth Hotchkiss and family and of Trevor Davies, who took her to a Bluejays game - her favourite team.
Although she often chafed at the trial the body is put to in old age, it was only of late that she allowed herself to be called "old". She was a gracious and accepting lady, never complaining about her lot and never demanding more than what was offered. There can be no doubt that in spite of medical ministrations, she found the end of life a trial. We are aware now that her suffering is over. We are left with the memories of the good times with Doris. These are part of our family history and are woven into all our lives.
Let this be a comfort to you that this was a long life, well and truly lived within the bosom of a loving family.
In the words of the Hebrew benediction -
The Lord bless you and keep you, Doris Thomson:
wife, mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, great grandmother, cousin and friend.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
Resquiescat in pacem
See pictures of Doris Thomson taken in 2003.
Here in Huairou, Beijing, China, literally in the shadow of the Great Wall, we think of the life and death of Doris Thomson. We remember that in her salad days, and even later, as a world traveler she was with her husband David, among the early tourists in China in 1976. We remember her excitement as we prepared to come here, and the many memories which she shared with us from that time. She insisted that we not miss this opportunity.
Doris was our mother and mother in law and in her last few years her life was intimately entwined with ours. Because we are in China, we include the eulogy we sent for the celebration of her life on Saturday, November 1, 2003, just a few days shy of her 94th birthday, November 16th.
Our Chinese friends, teachers and students have been especially caring and solicitous about our welfare on the occasion of Doris's death. Their notes have moved us to tears and to an appreciation of the warm and common bonds of humanity which bring us together. How our Chinese friends found the sincere and meaningful words in language which is foreign to them moves us as well. The principal offered the condolences of both staff and students. (see letter).
Our friend Keyan remembers Doris from her time with us in 1989-90, and expressed it in the following, from a card which she sent us:
"We are very sorry at the painful news of the passing away of your mother. She was a fine old lady, well-loved by all who knew her. I have lots of good memories of her. She will be long remembered by us. I quite understand how you feel now, but you are in duty bound to look to your own health and take care of Judy. My family and I send our heartfelt sympathy."
Two senior students (a young man Carol, and a young woman Amanda) with whom we have become friends, also offered their written condolences:
"I'm very sorry to hear the bad news of your mother's passing away. I know how you feel now. But it could happen to anybody, so try not to get too upset about it. You still have us, we are your friends. And this letter is from Class 13, Senior 3. We hope that you can always be happy and enjoy your time in China."
"I'm very sorry to hear that your mother passed away. I also feel very sad. But I believe your dear mother must have been having a beautiful life in the heaven. Please don't worry. At the same time, I think your mother in the heaven must hope you have a happy and healthy life. Please make yourself feel better as quickly as possible. I like your smile. And I hope I will see your smile every day!"
We also had a special dinner with Liu Keyan, her husband Dou Tiankui and daughter Dou Yan, to honour Doris. Tiankui was particularly eloquent and moving in his expression of sympathy, as he offered a toast to her spirit, in the Chinese tradition. We all, in turn, offered toasts to honour her life and to ease her passing. This was a generous and touching gesture, so typical of our Chinese friends.
Even here in China, half a world away, Doris Thomson has been honoured, celebrated and remembered.
_____________________
EULOGY
Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
And Immortality.
Emily Dickinson's words resonate for us again today. These are the words spoken at David Thomson's memorial and to bring these two lives full circle we repeat them here. At the death of Doris Thomson memory becomes a treasured resource.
And what memories a long life of 94 years bring to the mind's eye. Doris sitting on the back deck at Harkaway House, welcoming the first rays of the spring sun or later in the summer, counting the contrails of the planes high in the sky, wondering where they were headed. Doris greeting Tatters and asking her how she was. She loved animals and saw them as her friends. Doris struggling through deep snow with her walker, determined to make it to the Art Gallery monthly movie. Doris and her marvelous pink hat - part of the wedding photos for both Kevin and Cheryl, and Catherine and Robin Andrew. Doris and the dainty sandwiches made for Catherine & Robin Andrew's wedding reception. Doris and her bridge clubs, a regular weekly feature for years and years. Doris and the many trips all over the world with David, trips which helped her get through the difficult times in the last year, especially when she couldn't sleep at night. Doris the avid stamp collector, who would spread out the latest additions all over the apartment, even when her eye sight no longer allowed her to distinguish one from another.
And Doris the mother, who gave her energy and love to raising 5 children, not an easy task and not one that is recognized enough. Greg, Maija, Joan, John and Ken - all adults whose lives have been shaped by her love and care. And she was Judy's mother too - a friend and advisor for many years when her own mother was not able to help.
And Doris the grandmother and great grandmother. Our children got to know her well and that was a grace to them and to her. She was always interested in their activities, encouraging them to tell her their latest exploits, whether motor cycle riding, cycling, buying cars and houses, renting apartments, the trials of having jobs. She delighted in her great grandchildren, to whom she was GG. No matter how rambunctious, how noisy they were, she loved to watch them be themselves and loved to hear about their latest accomplishments. She loved them without restraint.
We cried some quiet tears here in China as we remembered what used to be. Since moving to St. Francis Place in Owen Sound six years ago, Doris was part of our daily lives, from Sunday dinners to weekly shopping trips to drives in the country to see the trilliums in the spring and the leaves in the fall. Her most favorite view was from the top of Jimmy Brown's hill, with its long vista both down the sound and out into the Bay as far as the islands at Colpoys. We will miss her and will be looking for her in all the familiar places.
We are pleased that our friends too found a place for her in their activities and their hearts. We think especially of Norah Egener, of Terry Harrison, Irma Thompson, Marge Woods and Phyllis Beauvais at St. Francis Place, of Marg and John Howard, of Beth Hotchkiss and family and of Trevor Davies, who took her to a Bluejays game - her favourite team.
Although she often chafed at the trial the body is put to in old age, it was only of late that she allowed herself to be called "old". She was a gracious and accepting lady, never complaining about her lot and never demanding more than what was offered. There can be no doubt that in spite of medical ministrations, she found the end of life a trial. We are aware now that her suffering is over. We are left with the memories of the good times with Doris. These are part of our family history and are woven into all our lives.
Let this be a comfort to you that this was a long life, well and truly lived within the bosom of a loving family.
In the words of the Hebrew benediction -
The Lord bless you and keep you, Doris Thomson:
wife, mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, great grandmother, cousin and friend.
The Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you.
The Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
Resquiescat in pacem
All text and photography © copyright Harkaway, 2003 - 2004
