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A Funny Thing Happened...

Sunrise on a Saturday. Okay, not sunrise, but it was early. And it was a Saturday, a Saturday morning in Kensington Market.

Let's see... do I get the organic, bird friendly, Guatemalan beans or should I go for the organic, shade grown Breakfast Blend?

I open the next shop door and pass through a choking, spiced haze. Past packets of ground chili, bags of rice, beans, and specialty flour. I inch my way through teetering aisles of rice vinegar, hazelnut oil, soy sauce. I find my prize, a five peppercorn mix, and head for the cash. The elderly lady at the front has been replaced by her twenty-someting son. He rings up my peppercorns. He has trouble making change.

With a smile, "It's my first day!"

The wind is cold. Not too many people out this early. I head north. A streetcar trundles by. The peppercorns fit just right in my gloved hand. Maybe I should slip them in my pocket, just in case.

Two people stand contemplating the contents of a glass case. Video cards, internal hard drives, modems are neatly stacked on the wall behind them. I move further back into the store and notice dozens of computer monitors stacked floor to ceiling.

"Do you have a price list for these monitors?"

"That price list is no good, I ..."

The man walks past me to the very back of the store, his words becoming a slur of mumbled sounds. He never returns.

Another computer store. Refurbished this, refurbished that. Parts, pieces, even whole systems. I move to the rear of the store. Another pile of monitors, this time clearly labeled and priced. Nearby, the service counter.

"You can't add conditions to our contract, sir."

" ... "

"Sir, you can't add conditions to our contract."

" ... "

"Sir!"

"Look, I'm just adding in that I won't pay one cent unless this thing actually works!"

Back in the market, almost time to go. The girl at the cash smiles hello as I walk in. I brush past an older man filling a bulk pasta bin from a cardboard box. Again, to the back of the store. Oolong tea, Jasmine tea, Mint Jasmine, Ginseng, more Oolong. There it is: Green Tea. One box, 20 2-cup tea bags.

"That'll be $4.59."

I hand her a five dollar bill.

Bells over the door, chime. An older man tall and thin. Wild white hair.

"Yes," he ponders his shopping list, "it's great to be here."

She smiles, hands me my change, "would you like a bag?"

I nod.

"Yes, great to be here... uhhh... KOSHER SALT."

"Sorry, we don't have any kosher salt."

I take my tea.

"Uhh, why not?" He fingers a chocolate bar near the cash.

I smile at her, "thank you."

"Thanks."

"Uhhh... KOSHER SALT!"

She laughs, "we don't have any!"

Quieter, "why not?"

Later, on the way home, I listen to my mother-in-law relay her fabric store triumphs. We have had very successful, independent mornings.

It is not yet noon, and the streets are getting busy.

Andrew Duff is a freelance new media serf working in Toronto, Canada.